The Bittersweet Paradox

You turn the corner only to discover a bus barreling in your direction, with the driver of the motorcycle on which you're riding happily oblivious to all that's going on around him. What do you do?

If you scream in your friend's ear like a blithering idiot to stop, turn to page 87.

If you gain your composure and point out the impending collision to your friend, turn to page 29.

If you jump from the speeding motorcycle, planning on rolling safely onto the grass, turn to page 54.

No joke, I was a little obsessed with these books when I was young. I would get out a little notebook and plot out each storyline as it developed, as well as making note of any options I chose not to take. If the storyline I was on would turn into something less than satisfactory, I would meticulously backtrack through my chosen path to change the outcome into something more desirable. Before I would abandon whatever book I was working on to the next in the series, I made absolutely certain I had exhausted every storyline, knowing exactly the outcome of each possible scenario.

It's frightening how similar to these childrens' books life actually is. We choose our adventure everyday. The only problem is that we're left wondering what the outcome would have been had we taken another route. Sadly, there's no way to backtrack and see. I'm usually one to make decisions pretty quickly, so this usually isn't a problem keeping me up at night. I tend to decide something and not look back. But, just lately, I've kinda been asking myself that dreaded "what if" question.

I think this has been precipitated by the strange turns my life has taken lately. They're good turns, but still strange to me. They're things that I KNOW God has brought about, and some of it I'm really looking forward to. But, they're still not something I would have ever planned on.

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that’s the risk that you take

Ah, how I love Coldplay. They seem to put the human condition into such succinct little nuggets. But that's a topic for another post.

I take comfort in knowing that I am genuinely seeking God's will, that He will guide me, and will redeem any screw-ups I make. I hope to know someday how God has guided my life when I didn't realize it and how God's grace permeated my life when I wasn't even watching for it. It reminds me of the lyrics to another song...

One of these days I'm gonna see
Just what became of me
On the day that I believed
When you took myself from me
And I believe I will see
What I would have been
If You didn't save me
One of these days

Okay, so seriously, were in you my mind? B/c that has always been my patented example of what life is really like -- comparing it to choose your own adventure books!!

It really is sooooo true b/c just one choice can have drastic changing measures, for good or bad. But as you said, hopefully we're in communion with God to help us choose the good, or if we do choose the bad that we allow God's grace to work and correct our bad adventure choices.

But hey, no more stealing my ideas!!

~~Becki

that's why i keep my time machine deeply buried inside the back of my closet.

Hi Alex! I miss you...