The Bittersweet Paradox
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Devoid of Inspiration...
After my flutter of recent blogging activity, I have found myself without impetus or inspiration lately.
So, here are some random thoughts milling through my head:
Hideaway Pizza--I love it and I'm eating it right now. I didn't pay for it. Perfect. I'm eating it with ranch dressing and that makes it even better than before, and more fattening, if either one is possible.
Legalism--I've been thinking about this a lot lately and how this plays into my own life. I think that without realizing it I have a streak of legalism in me. It seems as though I'm all about the shoulds and should nots sometimes. And I can kinda keep myself miserable trying to categorize things I do into one category or another. I think part of that comes from my personality type--more about that later. Anyway, I've been struggling with some decisions and if that my compulsion to make these decisions is compelled by my own legalism or by the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Right now, I can't really tell.
Personality Type--I've been strangely interested in this Myers-Brigg temperment stuff lately. I'm an ENFJ. Every description of this personality seems to fit me pretty closely. Even little idiosyncratic things about me that I thought were just me being weird are explained/described in a lot of these descriptions. It's cool to see. See that "J" at the end of my type?...It means "judging" which basically means that you like to have decisions made and life planned out, as well as having a list of rules to comply to. And then there's that whole legalism thing I've been thinking about...it seems as though some of that is personality driven, although I'm definitely not trying to justify my own imperfections by personality. It just helps explain it, I think.
Enough random mutterings...there's more Hideaway Pizza to be eaten:)
So, here are some random thoughts milling through my head:
Hideaway Pizza--I love it and I'm eating it right now. I didn't pay for it. Perfect. I'm eating it with ranch dressing and that makes it even better than before, and more fattening, if either one is possible.
Legalism--I've been thinking about this a lot lately and how this plays into my own life. I think that without realizing it I have a streak of legalism in me. It seems as though I'm all about the shoulds and should nots sometimes. And I can kinda keep myself miserable trying to categorize things I do into one category or another. I think part of that comes from my personality type--more about that later. Anyway, I've been struggling with some decisions and if that my compulsion to make these decisions is compelled by my own legalism or by the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Right now, I can't really tell.
Personality Type--I've been strangely interested in this Myers-Brigg temperment stuff lately. I'm an ENFJ. Every description of this personality seems to fit me pretty closely. Even little idiosyncratic things about me that I thought were just me being weird are explained/described in a lot of these descriptions. It's cool to see. See that "J" at the end of my type?...It means "judging" which basically means that you like to have decisions made and life planned out, as well as having a list of rules to comply to. And then there's that whole legalism thing I've been thinking about...it seems as though some of that is personality driven, although I'm definitely not trying to justify my own imperfections by personality. It just helps explain it, I think.
Enough random mutterings...there's more Hideaway Pizza to be eaten:)
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Oh My Heavens...
I know that my faithful readership (all 8 of you) has been overwhelmed with my barrage of recent postings, but this really was too funny not to post.
From MSN.com:
From MSN.com:
.Letterman Lawyers Fight Restraining OrderSANTA FE, N.M. -- Lawyers for David Letterman want a judge to quash a restraining order granted to a Santa Fe woman who contends the CBS late-night host used code words to show he wanted to marry her and train her as his co-host.A state judge granted a temporary restraining order to Colleen Nestler, who alleged in a request filed last Thursday that Letterman has forced her to go bankrupt and caused her "mental cruelty" and "sleep deprivation" since May 1994.Nestler requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least 3 yards away and not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering."Lawyers for Letterman, in a motion filed Tuesday, contend the order is without merit and asked state District Judge Daniel Sanchez to quash it."Celebrities deserve protection of their reputation and legal rights when the occasional fan becomes dangerous or deluded," Albuquerque lawyer Pat Rogers wrote in the motion.Nestler told The Associated Press by telephone Wednesday that she had no comment pending her request for a permanent restraining order "and I pray to God I get it." Sanchez set a Jan. 12 hearing on the permanent order.Letterman's longtime Los Angeles lawyer, Jim Jackoway, said Nestler's claims were "obviously absurd and frivolous." "This constitutes an unfortunate abuse of the judicial process," he said.Nestler's application for a restraining order was accompanied by a six-page typed letter in which she said Letterman used code words, gestures and "eye expressions" to convey his desires for her.She wrote that she began sending Letterman "thoughts of love" after his "Late Show" began in 1993, and that he responded in code words and gestures, asking her to come East. She said he asked her to be his wife during a televised "teaser" for his show by saying, "Marry me, Oprah." Her letter said Oprah was the first of many code names for her and that the coded vocabulary increased and changed with time.Her letter does not say why she recently sought a restraining order.Rogers' motion to quash the order contends the court lacks jurisdiction over Letterman, that Nestler never served him with restraining order papers, and that she didn't meet other procedural requirements
The Way Good Thing About Christmas...
...is getting to see my grandparents! They are coming from California and I haven't seen them in a year and a half. I realize that for some people's family, that isn't a very long time without seeing your grandparents, but it's a long time for me. Anyways...I'm excited even though they'll be sleeping on my bed and I'll be on the air mattress upstairs that sleeps like a hammock because there's not enough air in it. I really am OK with that. I tried it out last night, and it really didn't suck too much.
On another note, I found another ridiculously wasteful way to spend my time.
How's that for stewardship?
On another note, I found another ridiculously wasteful way to spend my time.
How's that for stewardship?
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
So Fun
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Fun Times at Shogun
We had our company Christmas party at Shogun this weekend and these are the resulting pictures. I love me some Shogun. It was good action. I won Radio during the gift exchange and got a $50 gift certificate to P.F. Chang's from one of our manufacturers. Wahoo! I also love me some P.F. Chang's. It's kinda funny that they gave me a P.F. Chang's gift card at Shogun, but whatever...I'm not complaining.
On another note...today it's snowing for the second day straight. It's very Christmasy. I dig it.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Streams of Consciousness
Bored.
Snowing outside.
Slid the whole way to work.
Eating a dark chocolate bar that tastes kinda fruity.
Listening to a Neil Diamond Christmas CD. I love me some Neil Diamond.
Trying to figure out what to eat for lunch. It looks like left overs from Friday are on the menu. I hope that Rib Crib which has been sitting in the fridge all weekend is good.
Judging from the fact that I'm sitting here bored, there aren't too many people needing assistance urinating today.
Checking my email wanting my friends to email me to give me something to do.
Still bored.
Snowing outside.
Slid the whole way to work.
Eating a dark chocolate bar that tastes kinda fruity.
Listening to a Neil Diamond Christmas CD. I love me some Neil Diamond.
Trying to figure out what to eat for lunch. It looks like left overs from Friday are on the menu. I hope that Rib Crib which has been sitting in the fridge all weekend is good.
Judging from the fact that I'm sitting here bored, there aren't too many people needing assistance urinating today.
Checking my email wanting my friends to email me to give me something to do.
Still bored.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
I'M GOING!
Holy cow. Seriously. I just got the call and it's a go. Granted, not 'til June, but today's not for thinking about that. Today's for being excited. WAHOO!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Listening to...
Traditional Christmas Music radio station on Yahoo Music. Right now, they are playing Julie Andrews singing Silent Night. I LOVE IT!!!
Wow...three posts in four days...what's wrong with me?
Wow...three posts in four days...what's wrong with me?
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
My Favorite Guilty Pleasure
Project Runway 2.
Perhaps my favorite show ever. I was tired last night and so I decided to just stay home and chill out. And, what to my wondering eyes should appear? Not eight tiny reindeer, but my very favorite show from last Spring, where 14 starry-eyed hopeful fashion designers come together in New York and are challenged to make clothes out of the things you could find out of a grocery store or to design an outfit for a waif fashion model wearing only the clothes you happen to be wearing at the time. All that complete with man fashion designers who look and act like women and their caddy overly-aggressive female counterparts. A guilty pleasure indeed. But sadly, no one who could ever hold a candle to Austin Scarlet from season 1. Every Wednesday at 10/9 c.
Perhaps my favorite show ever. I was tired last night and so I decided to just stay home and chill out. And, what to my wondering eyes should appear? Not eight tiny reindeer, but my very favorite show from last Spring, where 14 starry-eyed hopeful fashion designers come together in New York and are challenged to make clothes out of the things you could find out of a grocery store or to design an outfit for a waif fashion model wearing only the clothes you happen to be wearing at the time. All that complete with man fashion designers who look and act like women and their caddy overly-aggressive female counterparts. A guilty pleasure indeed. But sadly, no one who could ever hold a candle to Austin Scarlet from season 1. Every Wednesday at 10/9 c.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Emotional Vomit, Anyone?
Life as a Christian for me has been hard the past few months. I feel like God has asked me to do some hard things, things I have NOT wanted to do. And I've done them, but not very joyfully. It really wasn't very willingly either. Had I not felt relentlessly compelled by the Holy Spirit, I wouldn't have done any of it. Period. And I feel as though I've been obedient in some of the huge things God has asked of me. But this joy and peace we're promised as Christ followers has not always accompanied these hard things. It's relieved the heavy hand of conviction I've experienced, but it kinda makes me want to hide from God. It makes me worry that the next time I pray, He's going to make me do something hard again; and, frankly, I'm tired of having to do these hard things.
I read a quote on my friend Shannon's blog and it REALLY got me thinking. Maybe it'll do the same for you.
It makes me wonder if I'm being obedient for the sake of being obedient. I know I'm supposed to obey and so I do, but for no other reason than to be able to say that, darn it, I've been obedient. Because, believe me, this has been joyless.
It makes me think that even though I am a Christian, that even though I love God and want to do His will and see His kingdom come, that my focus is somewhat skewed. I should be following Christ, running after Him. Not obedience. Or righteousness or Christian maturity. What is the joy in gaining those things if we haven't gained Christ? I want to know Christ.
I read a quote on my friend Shannon's blog and it REALLY got me thinking. Maybe it'll do the same for you.
If we are running towards righteousness or Christian maturity, do we not miss the joy of running towards Christ?
It makes me wonder if I'm being obedient for the sake of being obedient. I know I'm supposed to obey and so I do, but for no other reason than to be able to say that, darn it, I've been obedient. Because, believe me, this has been joyless.
It makes me think that even though I am a Christian, that even though I love God and want to do His will and see His kingdom come, that my focus is somewhat skewed. I should be following Christ, running after Him. Not obedience. Or righteousness or Christian maturity. What is the joy in gaining those things if we haven't gained Christ? I want to know Christ.
My life in Christ in this world, a bittersweet paradox. But ultimately, it will only be sweet. Here's where I'll tell you something about it.
Archive
- current
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- April 2007
My links
- {add your own links here}
