The Bittersweet Paradox

From Diana, Becki, and Alex

30. When girls talk about other girls, it's not always to be caddy. It's to let you know how we honestly feel about them and to protect your hearts. We're girls, and we know how some girls can be.

29. Don't be a man whore (DON'T try to make out with us without dating us first, and also, DON'T keep on when we've said no and told you to stop).

28. If you haven't finished (and when we say finished, we also mean resolved all emtional issues left over...) one relationship, don't go around starting other ones.

27. The makeup issue? Most of the time, we wear makeup for ourselves, not necessarily to impress you.

26. When a girl trusts you enough to expose her heart, you need to treasure and protect it, even if she's not ultimately the "one".

25. We need consistency, and let's be honest, constant reassurance. A daily phone call is NOT too much to ask. Even if it's for 20 minutes checking in and telling us that you're thinking about us. Sorry guys, it's just the way we're made.

24. If you like us, just call. If you like her, put yourself out there. Granted sometimes it might suck to be rejected, but ultimately, the potential reward is worth the risk.

23. The reason why you might think our signals are subtle is because we don't want you and everyone else in the room to know how much we really do like you. Sometimes we feel like our so-called "subtle" clues actually scream that we're in love with you and we're scared of what your response might be.

22. It ticks us off when you go for the Cameron Diazs and not the Toni Collettes.

21. Flowers and candy are nice, but you can never hear enough that your guy loves and respects you.

20. Treat your girlfriend like a queen and not a trophy. Queens are respected and trophies are displayed to impress others.

19. A girl likes to feel like her guy respects her opinions and that they are valued. Don't make snap decisions without at least taking her opinions into consideration.

18. Those of us who enjoy sports like to jump in and play along. We want to play with you, not necessarily to be one of "the guys".

17. For those of us who don't like to play sports, don't make us. And especially, don't get all mad if you did make us play and it turns out that we suck. That's pretty much the whole reason we didn't want to play to begin with.

16. A guy is much more attractive when he doesn't know he's attractive.

15. Sometimes we just want you to listen to a problem we might have rather than solving it and moving on.

14. Not all girls (the Tonis, anyway) go for the bad guys. In the end, the good guys really do win out...you're the ones we want to marry.

13. We like a guy who is more interested in the color of our eyes rather than our dress size (darn size zeros...heck, darn size fours).

12. Although we can handle an occasional bawdy joke, why do you little sisters deserve more protection? If you wouldn't do it to your little sister, don't do it to us. We're somebody's sister too. If something some other guy did or said to your little sister would make you want to beat him up, don't do it to anyone else.

11. "Evaluate us by the week, not by the moment"...same applies to us.

10. Guys don't know how far personality can go. A Topher with a great personality can get a lot further than a Tad who can't carry on a conversation.

9. Ketchup is a great condiment, it's just not always on the table.

8. Don't compare us to your mother unless our cooking is better. We don't want to know how your mom used to do it. It freaks us out that you would idealize her that much. There's a difference between a Mama's boy and a guy who respects his mother and treats her well.

7. Unless we ask about an ex-girlfriend, don't tell us about her. Oh, and FYI, pictures of the ex should never EVER still be on display.

6. We don't talk about our times of the month to gross you out, instead, let's just call it a heads up.

5. If we allow you all video games, allow us our shopping trips and time to talk about our fabulous purchases (esp. shoes).

4. You really are always supposed to pay. Our arguing is merely a formality. Please, continue to insist that you pay.

3. Us talking to you about the little, seemingly mundane details of our life merely means that we want you to be involved in it. Just as you want us to leave you alone during your precious football game, humor us and feign interest when we have a story to tell you.

2. Don't get us wrong, small gifts are not unwelcome (see # 21).

1. The only thing we want you to love more than us is Jesus. The most attractive quality you can have is being completely sold out to God.

Hey good stuff. I may have to say on that caddy one tone is everything. You don't want to sound like you have a chip on your shoulder you want to sound concerned. Oh and the same fear you have of sending more than a subtle hint is a good indicator of how some guys feel about rejection so have some patience.

Some pretty good insight on that list :-) Have a good week!

Hey gals!

First, I'm sorry #'s 29, 28, 26 and 12 even have to be stated, but sadly I understand that they do.

Re: #25. So, is 20 minutes the minimum? Wow. I have to admit, I've mentioned this to 3 guys in the last 5 minutes and all have said something like "Oh my gosh, that's rough." LoL. I mean, guys check in and say hey to each other in like 90 seconds and feel like we've had a quality conversation! Differences...:-)

Re: #22. Diaz was one of the voices on Shrek, I remember that, but who is Toni Collette? Sorry, not much of a pop-culture person so the point probably evaded me altogether.

Re: #9. I don't get it.

#3 is awesome advice. I laid down for a nap once and my sister popped in to talk and I dozed here and there. The amazing thing? She understood, and was just glad I didn't tell her to go away.

#1 - DITTO :-D

Clint, the ketchup thing isn't what you're thinking it is...ketchup here is being used as our creative way of alluding to something else (which isn't what you're thinking it is, Clint, promise).

Luke--I'm sorry those seemingly obvious things had to be stated as well, but we felt the necessity since we've run into some guys who apparently hadn't been informed of those rules up to this point.

Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette were both in "In Her Shoes" where Cameron Diaz plays the hot younger sister all the guys go for and Toni Collette plays the more insecure, brainy older sister who has guys cheat on her for her younger sister.

Clint, I thought you were on the same page as us with the whole "ketchup" thing and what it really was a euphemism for.

Anyways, perhaps a better saying would be: "Ketchup is a great condiment, but it just doesn't go with everything. Sometimes you prefer mayonnaise, honey, or some even really weird people prefer mustard at times. Ketchup just isn't always the right/best choice."

(Alex, that mustard part was for your benefit).

:-)
Becki

Alex, I totally agree w/ #27.

That and I always noticed that guys comment that they don't like makeup, but they always seemed to be interested in the girls (real life or actresses) that DO wear make-up. So I never really bought that when guys said it.

No offense, guys. :-)

BTW, Alex, I like your blog!